Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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