i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
