Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
