I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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