can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
