She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
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