I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
