You work out of a Hotel?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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