Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
