i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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