you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
