did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
