So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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