This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
