We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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