Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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