Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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