I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize