How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I need moral support for this bender
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
