have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
