The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
