i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
