She's JV to your varsity
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
