I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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