i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize