Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize