today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
