i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
