So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
