dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
