A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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