i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
50% drunk capacity currently
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
