I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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