Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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