i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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