If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I wish i was in the wii world.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
