you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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