Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
