if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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