Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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