he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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