So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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