he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
