if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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