Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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