she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
