Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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