the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
