This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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