You're completely useless in the revolution.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
