K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
