I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I haven't been this sober since birth.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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