I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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