accomplished twins. life is a go
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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