she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
