He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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