dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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