so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
