and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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