I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
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