somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
