what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
As shirtless as possible
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom