i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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