Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.