the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
