whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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