I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
