I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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