Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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