Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
