Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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