dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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